I think I am morally bankrupt
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
