I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
