they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
