I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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