I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Your penis caused this!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
