Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
