Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
