i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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