what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
