google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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