so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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