Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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