Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
