i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
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