I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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