Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
