You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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