i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
