It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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