I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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