let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
