i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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