i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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