My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
