Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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