who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
