I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just had sex on a roof
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
