we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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