would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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