My friends, they love my intelligence
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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