Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
