Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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