i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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