one word: firstdatebathroomanal
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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