His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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