Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
