She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
