i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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