yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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