Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
