she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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