I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
