Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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