Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
