i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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