and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
