No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
