you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
