I'm lost and stupid without you.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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