i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
