my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
