so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
how drunk are you?
Several
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
