the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
